Personality: it’s all psychological
What one feeds their mind with will later govern their actions, and this is true with negative self-talk, the primary destroyer of self-confidence and the finisher of one’s faith. It not only robs a person of their dignity but it also prevents them from unleashing their full potential, from making the best use of their gifts, and from becoming the person they envision to be.
Why is negative self-talk destructive?
First, what is self-talk? It’s the set of words you say to yourself about yourself. It’s about how you feel or believe about yourself. It constantly goes into your mind every minute and hour of every single day. It somewhat becomes your guiding philosophy towards how you conduct your life.
As good things will always have a bad counterpart, so is with self-talk. The opposite of positive self-talk is negative self-talk.
Negative self-talk brings a lot of problems for people who tend to see the flaws in themselves and they kind of constantly focus on them all the time. There is always a problem with negative self-talk: when you say negative things to and about yourself, you will end up believing that yourself.
Negative self-talk goes even further than that belief that you believe it yourself. Negative self-talk becomes a habit or action as your personality is going to exude the negative things you feed your mind with.
People will pick up on that easily when you keep saying negative things about yourself. You may not say it aloud or people may not hear you speak it, but they will recognize it through your actions or attitude. That’s how you lead other people to believe them, the negative things you believe about yourself. Your negative self-talk affects people’s perception of you.
10 things you should never say to yourself
What are examples of negative self-talk? Why people say them and how they make one feel bad about themselves? What should we do to overcome them?
- “I can’t do it.” or “It’s too hard.”
People easily get overwhelmed by their limitations, especially if people or society dictates it upon them. They refuse to try things out and as a result, they fail to discover their true potential. Don’t say you can’t do it or it’s difficult unless you have tried and given it your best shot. There’s no harm in trying and finding out what you can do. Everyone is differently abled.
- “People won’t like me.” or “Nobody loves me.”
Some people feel inhibited by their physical characteristics, and it holds them back from loving others and seeking love. But how could you know who does or does not like or love you? Everyone is worthy of love – to love and being loved in return. Don’t force love to come into your life: allow it time and it will come to you in the most unexpected time and place. Become more loving to yourself and you will receive more love in return.
- “I’m not good enough.”
Some people fail to filfill their true potential or recognize their self-worth because they let other people’s criticism affect them or perhaps they think they are not just good enough even if they have yet to try something yet. While we can be out own worst critic, we shouldn’t get tough on ourselves. Before you want others to recognize your worth, see to it you have self-worth first. Believe you are worthy to pursue any endeavour you set your eyes upon.
- “It’s too late for me.”
People stop reaching their dreams or goals once they get past their prime or they refuse to pursue a certain goal because they’re already too old for it. That’s what makes people live miserable later in life – because they fail or refuse to grab a chance when it presents itself in front of them. But chances know no time or age – when it’s in front of you, take it, especially if you still have what it takes to make your dream a reality.
- “I’m so tired.”
Either people say that because they lost the energy or else the drive to achieve a particular purpose or goal. Or perhaps they no longer believe in the importance of what they’re fighting for or trying to achieve. If you’re tired, why not rest and get up later after you’ve replenished your energy? As there are times to work towards your goals, there are also times to rest, relax and refresh your mind, body and soul.
- “Bad things always happen to me.”
Bad things happen to people because they see them as ‘bad things’, ‘misfortunes’ or else ‘failures’. They treat such events as defeat, as a shame or end of the road for them. They fail to realize these ‘bad things’ are just ‘hurdles’ or ‘challenges’ they need to overcome. People easily give into their defeatist nature. Don’t let bad things extinguish your fighting spirit, and bad things ain’t bad things unless you see them that way.
- “I’m so useless/ugly/unlucky/worthless.”
People say that because they feel inhibited by their lack of physical beauty, skills and talents, motivation or ambition. In short, they have no faith and confidence in themselves. If you wouldn’t dare utter such words to a stranger or people you love, why use such words with yourself? Don’t let society dictate how you should look or feel or what you should do. Don’t wallow in self-pity and learn to stand up for yourself today. Focus on the things you do love about yourself.
- “Life is unfair.”
And it will never be, so why fret over it? People get miserable over things they cannot control. Due to their bitterness, they find it difficult to move on. However, they can’t just focus on the bad things that happen as it will not make them feel any better. Life also has its good moments, so why focus on the difficult ones? Consider difficult moments as opportunities to learn and transform your life. You may not know it, but you could be doing better than you think.
- “What will they think of me?” or “What will other people say?”
People fear taking risks because they are afraid what other people might say about them. Should you bother? Not at all, especially if they do not live the life you live and experience the same difficulties you encounter. Everyone is differently abled, great and beautiful in their own special way. Adhere to society’s standards and you will later regret not living a life of genuine beauty, unique and creativity. People
- “I give up.”
The worst or most negative self-talk anyone can give to oneself. It means total surrender, final defeat and only hopeless people say that because they believe they can’t do anything anymore about their predicament. You’re not hopeless, right? So why give up when you can still get up and fight? Keep fighting; keep going.
As of this time, you should realize the impact the words that you say to yourself could have in your mindset and personality.